Ms. Terpening : “Late-in-Life Lesbian: Blossoming Online”

When Ms. Terpening publicly embraced her lesbian identity in 2014, she faced a mix of reactions from those she had known for years. While some friends and acquaintances looked at her with uncertainty, she found solace and support in online communities and her family. This newfound sense of belonging and acceptance helped her navigate her late-in-life coming out journey. Despite still being legally married to her husband and sharing a home, she no longer shares a bedroom with him.

Today, Ms. Terpening leads an organisation that provides support and services to teenagers in rural areas of the UK who identify as part of the L.G.B.T.Q.I.A.+ community. She has witnessed firsthand how younger generations have inspired individuals like herself to embrace their authentic selves. Reflecting on this, she stated, “The bravery of the younger generations encouraged us to no longer suppress who we truly are.”

Recent data from a Gallup poll revealed that nearly 8 percent of Americans identified as L.G.B.T.Q.I.A.+ in 2023, marking a significant increase from previous years. The percentage of individuals identifying as lesbians also saw a rise, with about 15 percent of respondents falling under this category. Notably, younger generations such as Gen-Zers and millennials showed a higher inclination towards identifying as part of the L.G.B.T.Q.I.A.+ community compared to Gen-Xers and baby boomers.

Miriam Grace, a 58-year-old psychotherapist from Britain who came out at the age of 50, conducted a survey involving over 2,000 late-in-life lesbians aged between 40 and 65. This research formed the basis of her book, “Queering Gestalt Therapy,” which delves into gender, sex, and relationship diversity in psychotherapy.

According to Grace, the survey participants shared varied experiences regarding their late-in-life coming out journeys. Some women expressed that they had always identified as lesbians but had hidden their true selves due to fears of discrimination. Others revealed that they discovered their lesbian identity later in life after developing strong feelings for another woman. A third group acknowledged that they had suppressed their lesbian identity for years but later recognised their authentic sexuality upon reflection.

Grace highlighted that societal expectations, personal beliefs, and societal stigma often lead women to suppress their true sexuality, only realising their authentic selves later in life. She emphasised that creating a safe and accepting space is crucial for individuals to explore and embrace their true identities.