Oklahoma LGBTQ Community Mourns Loss of Teen Amid Bullying Allegations

Oklahoma’s queer community is in shock following the tragic death of a LGBTQ teen who reportedly faced bullying at Owasso High School for several months.

Sixteen-year-old Nex Benedict passed away on Feb. 8, a day after allegedly being attacked in a school bathroom, as stated by Nex’s family. The circumstances surrounding Nex’s death are still under investigation by the police.

The information available about Nex’s gender identity, the reported bullying incidents at school, and the impact of recent anti-LGBTQ legislation in the state have left the LGBTQ and trans communities in Oklahoma both grieving and outraged.

Nex’s mother, Sue Benedict, revealed to the Independent that Nex had been targeted for bullying due to their gender identity following the implementation of a law that prohibits transgender students from using bathrooms that align with their gender identity.

While Nex’s specific gender identity remains unclear, Benedict stated that Nex identified as non-binary. The family continues to use they/them pronouns for Nex in all communications and fundraising efforts.

It is uncertain if the altercation in the bathroom was linked to the reported bullying incidents experienced by Nex. However, many LGBTQ individuals in Oklahoma and beyond believe that Nex’s death cannot be viewed independently from the rise in legislation and rhetoric targeting the LGBTQ community in the state.

“While investigations are ongoing, the details known by the family, some of which have been disclosed publicly, are deeply concerning,” the Benedict family stated in a release through their attorney, Jacob Biby.

The Owasso Police Department stated in a release that preliminary findings from an autopsy indicate that Nex’s death was not due to physical trauma. A toxicology examination is pending, with the official autopsy report to be released later.

A Hostile Environment for LGBTQ Students

Over the past year, Republican lawmakers in Oklahoma introduced 35 bills aimed at LGBTQ individuals out of more than 500 proposed nationwide, as reported by the American Civil Liberties Union. Three of these bills were enacted into law, including the controversial bathroom legislation, a ban on transition-related care for minors, and a law protecting religious entities from discrimination for implementing anti-LGBTQ policies.

During the current legislative session, 54 bills targeting LGBTQ individuals have been introduced in Oklahoma, the highest number in the country according to the ACLU.

Furthermore, school environments in the state have become increasingly unwelcoming for LGBTQ students. Last month, State Superintendent Ryan Walters appointed Chaya Raichik, known for the far-right Libs of TikTok social media account, as an adviser to a state library committee.

Raichik’s account often criticises LGBTQ-inclusive policies in schools, healthcare facilities offering transition-related services to minors, and LGBTQ educators advocating for inclusivity. An NBC News investigation found instances where entities mentioned in Raichik’s posts received bomb threats or faced other forms of violent intimidation.

Raichik has denied any involvement in Nex’s tragic passing and has not responded to requests for comment.

Last December, a transgender teen known as J. Doe filed a lawsuit against the Oklahoma State Board of Education after Superintendent Walters introduced an emergency rule preventing trans students from updating the gender on their school records. Despite being able to change his driver’s permit to reflect his gender identity outside of school, Doe faced challenges within the educational system.

In a video released by the state’s education department last June, Walters criticised trans-inclusive school policies as an “assault on truth” and condemned what he termed as “radical gender theory” endangering girls.

Hali, a trans senior student at a school near Owasso, expressed feeling unsafe at school due to Oklahoma’s bathroom law and other discriminatory educational policies. Hali, who chose to use only her first name for privacy reasons, highlighted the fears and challenges faced by trans individuals in the state.

“The language used by figures like Ryan Walters and his associates has fostered an environment conducive to anti-trans sentiments,” Hali stated. “The situation has deteriorated significantly in the past couple of years. Previously accepting individuals are now engaging in harassment against trans people because of the pervasive rhetoric. This behaviour has spilled over into schools as well.”

In a statement issued through Dan Isett, the communications director for the Oklahoma State Department of Education, Walters emphasised the safety of students as his paramount concern and expressed condolences to Nex’s family and the Owasso community. He pledged the department’s full support to assist Owasso Public Schools during this difficult period.

Isett did not address criticisms of Walters’ past statements and policies.

Unity in Grief

Hali first met Nex at an LGBTQ youth gathering organised by Youth Services of Tulsa last year. While not close friends, Hali remembers Nex as a kind, loving, and reserved individual.

Learning about Nex’s passing came as a shock to Hali, who has been mourning their loss since the news broke. As a member of the Cherokee Nation, Hali found it particularly poignant that another Indigenous student had tragically lost their life, given the disproportionate number of missing and murdered Indigenous individuals, especially women.

Although early reports indicated Nex’s Cherokee heritage, Choctaw Nation Chief Gary Batton clarified to Indianz.com that Nex’s mother was a member of the Choctaw Nation.

Alex DeRoin, an activist and artist from the Osage Nation, stressed the importance of remembering and mourning Nex within the context of their Indigenous background. DeRoin, who identifies as me-xo-ge, an Osage term akin to two-spirit, highlighted the dangers faced by two-spirit individuals in Oklahoma due to the anti-LGBTQ legislation in the state.

“The recent developments have instilled fear in me,” DeRoin shared. “As a Two-Spirit person in Oklahoma, where laws are becoming increasingly hostile towards individuals like myself, it is evident that the state is becoming less safe for people like me. This also signifies a cultural genocide as individuals like myself and Nex are now being targeted for embracing our ancestral heritage.”

Major LGBTQ rights organisations, including the Human Rights Campaign, Lambda Legal, and the ACLU, have released statements regarding Nex’s passing, with thousands posting tributes on social media platforms.

Lance Preston, the founder of Rainbow Youth Project, an LGBTQ mental health and suicide prevention organisation, noted the profound impact of Nex’s death on Oklahoma’s queer and trans community, particularly among young people.

The organisation operates a hotline and chat service for LGBTQ individuals in crisis, receiving an average of 87 weekly contacts from individuals identifying as Oklahomans. Following national coverage of Nex’s death, the group observed a surge in contacts, totalling 349 between Feb. 16 and Feb. 20—more than three times the usual weekly volume.

“The increase in calls is not limited to Oklahoma; we are also witnessing a surge in reports nationwide from individuals who are anxious about the incident,” Preston explained. “They fear that being bullied at school could lead to a similar outcome. This incident has heightened those concerns.”

Of the 349 crisis contacts received during that period, 69% referenced the Owasso incident as a contributing factor to their distress. Furthermore, 85% reported being bullied at school or on social media platforms, while 79% expressed fear of physical harm. Thirty-two contacts identified themselves as Owasso High School students, and 14 were parents of students at the school.

Aven, from the Transgender Advocacy Coalition of Oklahoma, announced plans for vigils across the state over the next few days to honour Nex’s memory.

Rainbow Youth Project has dispatched staff to Oklahoma City to collaborate with local advocates and mental health professionals in establishing a rapid response team to support those affected by Nex’s passing and the recent suicide of a teen in Mustang, Oklahoma.

“These young individuals are frightened, so we must provide them with positivity and reassurance to dispel their sense of isolation,” Preston emphasised. “Many of them have expressed reluctance to return to school, demonstrating the palpable fear they are experiencing. It is our responsibility to reassure them that they are not alone.”

If you or someone you know is struggling, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255, text HOME to 741741, or visit SpeakingOfSuicide.com/resources for additional support.

If you are an LGBTQ youth in crisis, feeling suicidal, or seeking a safe space to talk, please call the TrevorLifeline at 1-866-488-7386 or reach out to the Rainbow Youth Project at 1-317-643-4888.