“Financial Abuse in Romantic Relationships: A Growing Concern for Victims”

Accident – death – Obituary News : Financial abuse within romantic relationships is a prevalent issue that often goes unnoticed or unacknowledged. According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, 27% of individuals in abusive relationships have experienced some form of financial abuse. This number has only increased during the COVID-19 pandemic and is projected to continue growing. Experts have observed an average annual increase of 13% in survivors reporting financial abuse since 2016.

Despite growing awareness, financial abuse remains one of the least-known forms of abuse. This could be due to the taboo nature of discussing money within relationships or individuals lacking financial education during childhood. To shed light on this issue, we spoke with Moraya Seeger DeGeare, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and Emily Irwin, a managing director and senior director of advice at Wells Fargo’s Wealth & Investment Management.

DeGeare explains that financially abusive partners often make money decisions without their significant other’s consent, creating an imbalanced power dynamic that is difficult to change. They may limit access to finances and financial information, preventing their partner from having financial autonomy necessary for daily life. DeGeare provides several examples of what financial abuse can look like:

1. Denying access to money without a valid reason and restricting financial independence.
2. Exerting control by not allowing any input in budget decisions, especially if there is no history of overspending.
3. Withholding information about financial needs and blocking attempts to learn more or gain access to information, thus maintaining dependence.
4. Dismissing any conversation about finances immediately.
5. Resorting to physical or emotional violence when discussing spending habits or money.

Other signs include partners demanding the money earned by their significant other, excessive and unexplained financial behavior, and expecting financial support without an agreement. Financial abuse often stems from underlying trauma or a need for control. However, understanding the motivation behind the abuse does not mean one should stay in an abusive relationship. Financial abuse erodes trust and safety, and it can significantly impact self-esteem. Open and honest communication is crucial for a healthy relationship, but financial abuse hinders this essential aspect.

Differentiating between financial abuse and “red flag” behavior surrounding money can be challenging. DeGeare emphasizes the importance of considering culture, religion, gender, and identity intersections to identify the difference accurately. Relationship patterns often stem from childhood observations, where financial values align with traditional gender roles. However, if partners have different upbringing experiences, it can lead to conflicting expectations in a marriage or relationship.

Financial red flags, as defined by Emily Irwin, indicate undesirable financial characteristics or patterns that suggest potential incompatibility. Examples of financial red flags include financial secrecy, where a partner refuses to discuss their financial situation openly, unattractive frugality, where a partner is excessively tight with money despite having enough, and the assumption that earning more money equates to power dynamics within the relationship.

While financial red flags may not reach the level of abuse, they can indicate other problem areas such as lack of commitment, honesty, or incompatibility based on values and goals. It is important to have open conversations about finances as a relationship grows more serious. Sharing financial information and discussing financial goals is essential for building trust and understanding each other’s financial values.

Ultimately, financial abuse and its impact on relationships should not be ignored. By raising awareness and promoting open discussions about money within relationships, we can help individuals identify and address financial abuse, fostering healthier and more equitable partnerships..